Su wants to get married

su wants to get married. why? i ask. because she wants a ohh-so-cute kid, because then she'll never be lonely, because she wants companionship, because she'll have a family of her own, home of her own, because she wants to be loved, because.... she goes on.

all my efforts to convince her that marriage is after all not that great a thing to do to oneself has not changed her mind yet. i say this 'yet' but i know it'll never change her mind. because she's always wanted that. she's grown up in this enviornment and she's moulded up a certain way to be the individual that she is today. she has so much love to give and she wants to do so much for everybody, its only natural she wants someone very special for that. and then she's this age when hormones and chemical play havoc in your life and make seemingly sane people insane and basically blind, and then all of us want to get married and 'settle down'.

okay, so su also wants to settle down. basically being tied down by the chains of household duties and chores, obligations, expectations, compromises, sacrifices, adjustments, and all such words that you can think of. people lose themselves in marriages (said by a very famous person and i agree). they lose their identity, their self, their own being, the person that they are. they change or try to change so much just to go a day without fighting. or they just give up and lose all interest and just avoid the other person to avoid an unpleasant encounter. both ways, both people can never be that same person that they were.

did i digress too much...now back to su. she goes to these sites, uploads her profile and then comes back and cribs.."nam i cant marry any of these guys on these sites, they're so give up. just take a look at them. how can i marry them?" and i seize this opportunity for my anti-marriage campaign and she tries to defend the institution and it goes on.

and then she has this beautiful criterion. "if i dont feel like hugging a guy when i see him, i cant marry him". i found it quite funny when i first heard it but then it does make sense, doesnt it? i mean thats the least you expect from a person you would want to spend the rest of your days and nights with.

i try to convince her that marriage is a very big price to pay for these small joys which you derive for a very short time. but to no avail. i guess ill just wish her all the best in her endeavor and hope all goes well. after all, there are no perfect recipes for marriage or to even finding a partner for yourself.

except that, when you marry, you must know what you're getting into and with whom you're getting into it. again as the very famous person said, "you cant marry an engineer and then think, 'no i want her to be a doctor because i always wanted a doctor'. then you should have married a doctor in the first place." and marry for the right reasons, not just for sex or babies or because you think there's nothing else left to do.

and then just be prepared.

finally this is what i tell su (and she hates me for it), "you should marry atleast once, just to see if you are made for it or not. then you can make the best decision." :)