core dump!!

have been home for the whole day today!! very unlikely for me..
have been watching TV for the whole day!! totally likely...
have been watching movie teasers for the whole day!! again totally likely...

and the songs that i heard...the lyrics...trying to say so many things...some boring, run of the mill, some stirring, others bizarre, strange....some make you want to strangle the lyricist, others make you wonder..how did he come up with this...

some that stayed with me through the day were

"chalte sarak sarak ke, dekho ye lazy lamhein...palkein bhaari bhaari ye lazy lamhein..." unusual...what a way to describe all the sunny, summer afternoons...and evenings..and mornings...what the hell! all lamhein are lazy for me...

"aye hawa ja use chhooke aa...woh kahan hai bata" ...ive heard something like this before...

"my heart's crippled by the vein i keep on closing...you cut me open and i keep bleeding love...keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love"... i liked this one...bleeding love...and no this one was not on the TV...

"you're a part time lover and a full time friend...i dont see what anyone can see in anyone else but you"...the 2nd line is SO complicated...i had to hear it n times before i could come up with a meaning for it...but im stuck with the lines....

"sach hai na...jo tumse aise baat kare...jo tumse itne paas rahe...woh ya toh mere jaisa ho...ya main hoon..." i like the confidence...:)

"dil kabhi ganda, kabhi hai nek banda...dil ka bharosa kaise koi kare...dil hai thanda, kabhi hai atom bomb sa..." i really agree with the dil ka bharosa part...how do you trust your heart and feelings when they are so fickle???

"...gud ki bheli hai tu...mujhko bhi ye gud chakha ...bekaar kyun hai rakha??..."
huh??? what dude??? what were you thinking??? im sure she's putting it to better use then to give it to you..

"shamiyana meri ye baahon ka..aashiyana kuchh begunahon ka..." what thought!!

and ofcourse this one has managed to stay with me for such a long time now...
"rehne de mera ye veham pe hi yakin..na ja abhi
pyaar ki ye raat hai..ab na ja
chhoti si ek baat hai.. ab na ja
pal do pal ka saath hai..ab na ja
jaadoo si ye raat hai..ab na ja
behne de jahan bhi le jaye zindagi..na ja abhi"
euphoria rocks...

and i should sleep!!!! yawn!!!!

something i can live without...

this is another one of my stuck up posts...last time i decided to write fun stuff...but no..i guess i AM stuck up!!!

so i am at this coffee place with dennis...and i dont know how we come to the topic of our parents and the love, respect, affection in their relation...and ofcourse 'indians' that we are, the question of abuse had to come up..and so it did...and we both, very candidly accepted that yes we have seen it in our respective families...

but i guess the similarity ended there...coz though this guy was very pro-mom and my-dad-is-wrong types, he said "maybe our dads were supposed to do that"....and ive not been able to decide whether it disgusted me more or surprised me more..

SUPPOSED to do that???? supposed to treat a person like she was not a normal human with normal desires, feelings, emotions? supposed to suppress her free will? supposed to treat her as your personal slave, like she's born to sacrifice, born to give up? supposed to do that???

im not going on a personal war against this guy,,,he's a good friend and will be...but this is the general mindset we have..its not about him...its about us...

i wonder if dennis was a girl, would he still say the same thing? and i wondered if my partner abused me and then someone said to me..."listen dont make a fuss about it...you're just a mortal and probably he's supposed to do it", what would my reaction be? i know what it would be...

i would say...when i was probably 1 minute old and my mom held me in her arms for the first time..she would have looked at me and thought that i would have a beautiful life, she would have hoped that her little child would live a life better than hers, a life with love, affection, laughter, dreams, a life that every mother's every child deserves. she would have wished for me, every happiness that she could not have. And so, i would not take a single minute of abuse because i owe a beautiful life to my mom....and no one is 'supposed' to take it away from me or from her.

really, i wonder what kind of society we live in, which still lets men be bastards...