Sunday, March 23, 2008

at the end of one month..

i have moved to this new place...and i dont like it at all..its quite depressing really..and i dont know why..im so far from my zone of comfort..im so far from "my" place...back in mumbai it was like this is my place my home..i knew everyone...there was not a time i went out and didnt meet 5 people i knew...i knew the roads, the shops, the shopkeepers, the parks, the coffee shops, the malls, the theatres, the cool places, the uncool places, and ofcourse my fav place, IITB...where i would go when i was feeling low and wanted to be alone or when i wanted to talk my heart out...

and there were my friends...i was never alone..anytime of the day or night i had someone...i want to see a movie, i had someone...i wanted to shop, nah i usually shop alone..its better that way...i wanted to go for coffee i had someone..i wanted to understand something technical, i had someone...i wanted to party, i had someone...i wanted to just not be alone at 12 in the night, i had someone...i wanted to kill time before going home i had someone...i was too tired to cook and wanted to eat outside i had someone...

and there was my family...if there is no water supply in my house i would go to my sis' place..if i was feeling lonely i would go for a night out to my other sis' place..if there is no dinner at home again my sis' place...if i locked the house keys inside, my sis' place..boring evening, sis' place...no reason whatsoever, sis' place.

whats really surprising is when you are so far away from home, its interesting to realize, whom you really miss..gives you a perspective on who's really important to you...atleast i know now...really, i never thought i would miss some people as much as i do. but it makes me kind of happy because i dont miss some people as much as i thought i would..

it balances out in the end...you win some you lose some...maybe ill get to like this place over time...i have this thing of clinging on to things, to places, to people because change makes me very, very uncomfortable..i would just continue to go the same restaurant, same theatre, same mall, continue to work on the same tool..basically i have too much inertia...

but now that ive shed that inertia and come all this way, maybe things would become better..atleast that's what i thought when i took this decision...though im really miserable now, im hoping for the best...the true optimist that i am...God has something good planned for me..maybe right now not the favorite one, but im His child...

and thank God for cell phones..:)