Milestones

My last post was my 100th published post. I have a few that never made it to the blog land. Anyways, 100 is not a great number, not one I'm too proud of given that I have been doing this for long. But, it's still a milestone, right? And what do we do when we reach a milestone? We celebrate. Or we just mention it in one post and go on about our life.

One milestone that I'm actually celebrating is my recent switch to full manual mode on my DSLR - full as in full, including manual focus. I do not see myself using it very often, especially the manual focus, as I'm too slow with it. I'm just getting used to it but I never will be as fast as the auto focus. or could I? Having said that, it just gives me so many degrees of freedom. I love that!



Till this time, I thought ISO was useless. WHAT??


I had read in so many photography articles that manual mode is so liberating, it gives so much freedom, it gives so much better control, it makes you a better lover and all the time I used to think what a bunch of suckers! Ok maybe, I didn't read the last one. But then, who would do all those adjustments manually when the machine does it for you in one half-press?

I stand corrected. The manual mode does give you freedom - the frustrating movements of the lens when it's not able to focus on something or when it keeps focusing on something other than what you intend are now a thing of the past, the over bright or under-bright pictures are a thing of the past, the unending waits for the shutter to close are a thing of the past, the blur caused by the slow shutter speeds is a thing of the past. What I finally get is a satisfying picture and I can again tweak a setting, if I'm unhappy with the result. (With so many frustrations gone from your life, wouldn't you love better? Maybe I did read the better lover part then. Or maybe I'm saying it now. But it could happen!)




So summing it all up, I am happy.

I'm still taking baby steps with the manual mode. I hope to get better.

And while we are on milestones - It took me many many years but finally I found the guts (or should I say the cheek) to wear bright red nail paint. This makes me happy as well.


The book is the Bhagvad Gita and I have finished it in case you are wondering. Thankyou very much!

And in a few days, I'll cross another really BIG milestone. I'll cross Indian borders to go to Sri Lanka. It's not Europe and it can be mistaken for Chennai but what the hell, it's still 'foreign' land.

Take a step back

Life is what happens to us while we are busy making other plans.

Let me tell you a story.

Today morning was a beautiful morning. Perfect sun, perfect temperature. I left the main door open to enjoy the beautiful sky outside. Just then a wasp, a big bee, 5-6 times the size of a honeybee wandered inside my door. AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!

I was morbidly afraid of the 'beast'. I knew better than getting into her way and hid in my kitchen while the bee went into my bedroom. Obviously, she was looking for a way out of this prison of a place. I mean, she is a lady of the outdoors, clear skies and pretty flowers. The bedroom curtains were drawn but there is this small ventilator on the top of the windows which is covered with glass. She saw the light there and tried to escape from there.

She tried and tried and kept on trying, somehow thinking that the glass will give way somewhere. I empathized with her but more than that I wanted her to leave, so I opened the curtains so that she would see the light from the window and escape.

But, she didn't. She was right above the window but kept trying to get out of the ventilator. Struggling with the glass pane.And struggling. And struggling. She just could not see the open window.

Do you know where I'm going with this? The bee was so occupied with her struggle to get out of that small ventilator that she could not see that a whole big window is open right next to her. Ever wondered how many times we do that? As I stood there watching her, I thought about that. (And than I ran back to my kitchen)

Wouldn't it be good that ever once in a while we step back and look at the bigger picture? Maybe we are struggling for the wrong things in the wrong place.Who knows, a bigger door has been opened for us. How sad is it to know that when we are engaged in our futile escape from the small ventilator, an entire large window is waiting for us.

The update on the bee is that she was wise enough. She must have seen the window and she did escape after I don't know how long. I didn't dare to stay and look at her struggle lest she gets frustrated and charges at me, maybe transform into a monster, wrap me with her huge wings, take me to her den and slowly torture me to death with her family of poisonous wasps. Weird things happen.

Letting go of hurt

There is this blog that I read regularly. The girl is awesome. She has three adopted kids, lives on a farm (till recently) and loves corn fields and lonely trees in the middle of farms.





I read this on her blog.

Years and years (and years) ago now, kids were mean to me…and I allowed it
to shape every little thing about myself.
I’ll show them, I seem to say…as if
they’re still paying attention. As if they’re still sitting beside me in the
sixth grade.How horrible to find out everyone else has moved on.
...
Crying out for justice in a world that isn’t listening while at the same
time, turning a blind eye to the world that’s right in front of me seems a bit
counterproductive, no?"

Go read the entire post.





I could not NOT share. I have been there done that - carried hurts with me as if doing so was serving a purpose or my cursing the other person would hurt them back. I have become a little wiser to realize that everytime we recall a hurt, we are hurting ourselves again while the other person, for all we know, maybe partying in Spain. Just saying!

Green thumb baby!!

I grew this and ate this.



I am quite a farmer that way! I love gardening and that's what I do on lazy saturdays and sundays. Here in bangalore, it's not really work to grow anything. And I mean ANYTHING. The weather is great, the soil is perfect, the sun's perfect and the plants are really really cheap. I used to have plants in mumbai as well but I shelled out a lot more and worked a lot harder to maintain them. So, here it's all easy peasy lemon squeazy for me :)


This is not a tomato plant. Am just saying, just in case!

But I'd never grown vegetables before. This was my first attempt. I think I did pretty well. Organic pesticide free tomatoes. I also grew chillies or atleast I thought I was growing chillies till the plant flowered and I realized that that was also a tomato plant! What? I've done some mix-up definitely but I'm not complaining. I have lot of baby tomatoes waiting to turn big and red :)

Papa the great

He was here.



Gotta love those genes. I have so many of those. I realized as I grew up. And the older I get the more the realization that I am turning out to be like him.

A funny story. My grandmother that is my dad's mom was the daughter of the most feared man in all nearby villages. When she got married and was being brought to her husband's home in a 'palaki', some dacoits stopped her and her escorts. They threatened her to hand over her jewellery and money to them or they will kill her and stuff. Well, she being her father's daughter told them in no uncertain terms that she was the daughter of 'Yaadu' (short for Yaadram) and 'Bhakhtu' (short for Bakhtavari..God I love that name) and asked them to back off. The dacoits apologised and requested that she not mention this incident to her parents. True story.



Those genes came to my dad. How do I know? My dadi used to think that she was the prettiest woman in the village. Like she would make fun of other women who were not as good looking and call them names. She used to call my mom a hanger to hang clothes on and she used to call my mami, a broken cycle and so on. Wow. Some lady. That trait is there as it is in my dad. He is super proud of his looks. And he has a phd in giving names to people.

And talking of genes passing down generations, I may, just may, have those genes too. Some of them atleast. I'm not a name giver. Really. Promise.

Though I have a lot of the others. I, like my dad, would not like something but not say anything but keep getting irritated, then snap at the smallest totally unrelated thing. I, like my dad, will not ask you specifically to get me my medicines but totally expect you to do it and feel bad if you don't. I, like my dad, will sleep at night through most of the catastrophes of life (except a few, one or two maybe..the ones where we have to do something about the catastrophes). I, like my dad, am mostly unattached. I, like my dad, have very very rough palms. Like really rough. Sandpaper quality. Boys around me have softer hands and let me know that all the time. But what the hell! I, like my dad, am hardworking and hardwork shows on our palms. (Yes, that's how I defend rough palms.)

I could go on and on. The good thing is that I realize that I have some of his traits. Some traits that will not do me very good, like the non-expressive bit and I make very conscious efforts to change that. Atleast it's not like my sandpaper handshake that I can't do anything about!

Well, daddy dearest left yesterday (to go back home in mumbai) and that meant a trip to my favoritest place here. Now, I'm off to watch some star world and zee cafe which I had to give up for Barkha Dutt and Arnab Goswami.

I. love. the. airport.

My favorite place in Bangalore undoubtedly and without competition is the airport. It's unbelievable how much I love the place. I have an almost sentimental attachment with the place. I have hugged, cried, held friends, smiled, laughed, felt ecstatic, waited anxiously and watched with a sad heart as friends and loved ones left. It's as if buckets of all emotions were emptied in one place - their contents thrown out on the canvas of the arrival and departure gates. The place is magic.



The coffee at the airport? It's just normal cafe coffee day coffee but do i love it. Again because it's coffee loaded with all the goodness of all the emotions of picking up friends and seeing them after weeks or maybe months and just taking every bit of goodness in over a cup of coffee. The coffee allows the happiness to sink in and the feelings to settle. You know, get over the ecstasy of seeing people you love after a long time and get your adrenaline back to normal levels. You know the feeling, right? The coffee allows me to drink in the love, the warmth, the moment. Trust me, at any other given moment, I do not like CCD coffee. I'm a south indian that way. Filter coffee for me is what it is.



Do I sound weird? Maybe. But then I'm alone in this city and all my family and friends (barring a couple), basically people that I love are far away. So, they have to come through this airport. Again if I've to go see them, I've to go through the airport. The airport is my gateway to my loved ones. Does it make sense now? In any interaction with anyone that I love, the airport is instrumental. Hence, the almost mad love for the place.



But it would be unfair to say that that is the only reason for the love. The place is really awesome on its own. The lawns, the gardens, the benches, the coffee shops, the eateries, the people, the sheer energy and emotions. It's fun to watch all the people there and guess their stories. You know, like lovers seeing each other off who just can't let each other go, or spouses picking up their better halves -some only for formality, others genuinely happy, parents waving final good-byes to a child who mostly is going abroad to study, families giving assurances to a jittery young lady who is presumably flying abroad for the first time to be with her husband, uncles who cannot stop giving final instructions to their families, so on and so forth. It's full on entertainment - the breadth and depth of these emotions. At which other place do you see such uninhibited display of so many emotions.



Just like at the library, I can spend hours at this airport and stay entertained. But unlike the library, I go here way too many times. Not that I'm complaining. I can go more often and I would go more often if I had my way. Also, unlike the library, they have coffee. :)

To the library

Like I said in my last post, my saturday was spent here:



Well, this is the state central library! And I. loved. it. Yeah I'm a nerd that way.



Now, I drove a friend for some work near Vidhana Soudha. The parking happened to be near the library. The library is a beautiful red building which I had seen a couple of times earlier but the thought of getting in never crossed my mind. Now since I had time to kill, I thought why not?



I was a little hesitant to go in at first. I thought I would need a membership or something. So I walked in just to inquire. The guy saw me walking in and said "Madam, please leave your bag here". Yayy just like that I was in! Yeah after that he made some small talk about which part of delhi I'm from (It was probably broadcast earlier that I was from delhi) and what I think about Anna's andolan. After that, I was in.



The library inside, is really something to experience. Well also because it's been such a long time since I went to a library. And also that I generally love libraries. I can just sit in a library and kill hours. You have to experience the library to know really what it is.




The boring one!

I searched and searched and after a very boring book finally found a really interesting one on Indira Gandhi by Dom Moraes. So engrossing was the book that I kept on turning pages after pages and just like that 3 hours were over. And I learnt new things like Nehrus' actual family name was Kaul. Really nice read. I would love to read the rest of it soon.



Correction: I would love to go back to the library and read the rest of it.



The only thing missing was tea. If they had tea, I might have never left. ALso, I was very hungry. But mostly tea. I could have foregone lunch if I could get a big cup of tea. That's how much I love tea and books, especially if they are in a quiet, Victorian, sprawling with books library.

god's own country

I spent my saturday here:



But more on this later. Have to get earlier things out of way first.

The gift of long weekend, one week back, was very well received and very well utilized. When I was a young and dreamy girl, I saw an ad in the paper which showed a young couple in the rains under a canopy of lush green trees. The ad was for Kerala in the monsoons and my young heart melted looking at the picture and I have wanted to go to kerala since that day. If it's in the rains, better!

And I got it baby! More than 10 years later but I did make it happen. Yeah, I rock like that.

And just like that it was another awesome adventure. Adventure I call it because it was. Most of the drive was through forests; we even stayed in a foresty area though there were some houses nearby but it was in the midst of a forest; none of the doors in our house had latches!! What?? Yup! Midway through the first night, I thought someone would come in and slit my throat (I do blame a certain guy who put this idea in my head just as I was about to slip under my blanket).



It was officially accepted by my friends that lack of sunshine drives me nuts. So much so that it's not even funny. What happened was that the first day we landed there it was raining continuously and the sunshine person that I am, I was majorly depressed. I even suggested that we go back after all that driving we had done to reach the place. Nuts I know. Good sense prevailed my friends who put their foot down and that proved to be a good thing because sun smiled for us for the rest of our trip. Smiled less, burnt is more like it. And I loved every bit of the warmth on my skin which pissed off my friends further because it was HOT. I think they might have cursed all the sun drama that I do.

But I welcomed the sun and drank in every bit of its warmth. and my friends concluded that lack of sun causes serious harm to people around me.



As usual, we enjoyed lazy mornings of refilled tea glasses.



And evenings of friends huddled together and sharing and cribbing and laughing.



We went to a 5000 years old temple. Yes I went to a temple. I do that sometimes. Mostly because it was a pretty walk through a forest and the temple was 5000 years old. And I'm only 97% atheist. I even prayed.



It helps if the temple has a run down moss covered smaller ignored building that no one would come to.



We met the coolest old man with a pretty young wife who also happens to be the world's best cook. She made the most awesome fish curry and her chicken curry was to die for. Serious.



And I call him coolest because he drove his jeep over the most treacherous mud path right on the edge of a cliff. With all the ease and composure of a pro.



We met some of our jungle friends on our way. It was quite poetic the way deers galloped right in front of our car as we drove through the forest.



The icing on this trip was bluff. Yeah baby. My first real card game. I couldn't get enough of it, I'm dying for an encore. If you didn't know, I suck at cards. You should see me shuffling.



Another discovery was 'puttu', typical kerala breakfast, and that it makes me wanna throw up. yeckkkksssss!! You know what calls for another yeckkksss?? - leeches who tried to be our friends on our random walks through random forests. What were we expecting in a dense swampy forests after heavy rains, anyways?

The kerala ad in the paper years back had no mention of leeches or puttu (I wonder why). But it did show a good time and good time I had!

The adventure of dancing men

As I mentioned in my last post, I celebrated my birthday a while back, well, almost a month back, in Ooty. It was a last minute plan, like all other plans. I got my friends together, looked for a place, made a booking, got into the car and left.

The drive to ooty is a little longish and winding. Mostly because I don't want to risk taking my car up the 36 hairpin bends, so I take the longer but less steep route. On the other hand, the drive is a treat in itself as we have to drive through some amazing forests and if we are lucky, we can see wild animals up close and personal, like this guy:




It was three days of relaxing, having a good time with friends, of putting my feet up, of sleeping under the sun in the afternoon in a public garden, and just doing what I felt like. It was three days of (re-)discovering that I have great friends who love me and care for me. It was three days of going where your feet may take you. Nobody cared about watches or schedules.

Not to forget, it was three days of very chilly weather. Now the thing is that I went to ooty last year April and somewhere in my mind, I concluded that "ooty is not chilly this time of the year. It gets nippy in the evenings but otherwise it's fine". Turns out, not fine, extremely chilly. Note to myself: weather changes in two months. Not to mention, multiple layers of clothing followed.

There was lots of tea. Cue: cold weather, good times with friends.




There were conversations around warm fireplaces.



There were layers and layers of clothes and a beautiful property that made this stay all the more amazing.



Like I said, there were lots of moments that we stopped to savor only that moment. How many times have you passed by a field of sunflowers on a highway and said to yourself that "one day, I'll stop to admire them and take their beauty in".




I completely spoilt myself and indulged my sweet tooth way too much. (I ordered and finished both desserts on the right in one sitting)



I was gifted two gorgeous lenses for my camera and this trip was when I unleashed the babies. I came back with close to 800 pics in my canon DSLR and more than 200 pics in my sony. So we did take a lot of pics. I like to say we were perfecting our art.







Now to explain the title of this post. We stayed at this quaint and most awesome heritage property Sherlock. These guys have styled each room after a novel of Sherlock Holmes and the room that I stayed in was called 'Dancing Men' and needless to say, the theme was 'the adventure of dancing men'.

Since I've mentioned my last trip to ooty, I can't end this post without digging out memories from that trip - a trip that was in a very different zone compared to this one but is very special nonetheless.

medical tourism!

I was on a vacation...a looong vacation...a long unexpected unplanned vacation.

First it was my birthday and I and my friends went to ooty. I thought that was the end of my vacation and I started making plans for my next mumbai trip. But no, that wasn't how it was gonna happen. I started seeing this black cloudy shape right in the centre of field of vision of my right eye. Scary right? I ignored it for a couple of days thinking it'll go away just how it came. But when it stayed for 3 days, I went to see a doc.

That was the start of my extended vacation. The docs here ran tests after tests after tests including an MRI. At the end of a lot of money and two complete days of waiting for the doc and doing all the tests, I was sent home with "come on thursday or take a second opinion if you like". Not very re-assuring, I must say.

So, I did what every home sick puppy does. I took this as the cue and flew to mumbai and saw a doc at lilavati. Long story short, I was in the hospital for five days and outside for some more which totalled to 2 weeks in mumbai. I can't remember the last time I was there for this long. It felt nice.

Also, I learnt something. I may be a little claustrophobic. I thought I was going to suffocate and die inside the MRI machine. I haven't been this scared for as long as I can remember. I thought they would never take me out and my heart was beating so hard, I swear I could feel it move.



Moving to life outside the MRI machine, what is the one thing that you have to have to have in case you are stuck inside a hospital. Let's see, you have tons of time on your hands, you are mostly immobile because of your IV line and you can watch only so many re-runs. Ofcourse, you need a good book. A good book can make hospital time seem worthwhile. And I was lucky that way. I had this book in mind that I wanted to read for a long time but I was waiting to finish my other books.

In the hospital, after a lot of grovelling and begging, I finally made abs bring "The Emperor of all Maladies" for me. And it quickly became one of the best books I've ever read. There's a lot of biology, history and genetics and there is hell of a lot of information but the close to 500 pages kept me glued. As you read, cancer becomes a character, like someone you wouldn't want to know.

Till I finished the book, I was only thinking about cancer. I still do. But it was really bad when I was reading it. Three days in a row I dreamt about cancer wards or that I had leukemia or I was getting chemotherapy. That's how riveting the book is. When I was not reading the book, I was thinking about the book. I was a tad disappointed because I believed that we had made a lot of headway in our cure for this "distorted version of our normal selves". Turns out, not so much. There is only so much science can do when your own body turns against you.

And on the last note: The time I was in the hospital and was reading the cancer book, I really felt I should have studied to become a doctor. Like, seriously. It's a good thing I can't get stuck in some other places such as the parliament or a plane or a spaceship or another planet! Ha! That would be fun.

chai chai...garma garam chai!

I can sum up this post in one line - i love my tea and i love my tea time. Done!

Tea time is the most precious time of my day. I do NOT like to be disturbed during my tea time, not even to open the door. I like to enjoy every sip of my tea, relax and savor the tea, the time, and the quietness of those moments. After all, tea time symbolises the break between all the rush of the day. (I'm guessing that is what a cigarette is to smokers, atleast in part).



After all these years, I've finally settled to a routine of 4 teas a day. For whatever reasons, I used to try to limit myself to 2 teas or try to have green tea (YUCK!!!) and all that jazz. What with all that hoopla about tea not being good for us and messing with our brain activity and stuff.

But, I guess , my brain activity is finally messed up enough to allow me 4 cups of tea without thinking about any negative effects. And, I hate people who call green tea 'tea'. I mean, seriously?? Did they ever take a sip of a 'cutting' or 'tapri' chai?



I like my tea well brewed and with ample sugar. Yeah, sugar is the part that hurts me the most. I'm a true desi and I like my tea sweet. All the maths makes it 8 spoons of sugar in one day which translates to a lot of unwanted and useless calories which translates to more cardio in the gym. And god knows I hate cardio. (I just meant that as a phrase. I'm sure that god, if such a thing existed, couldn't be less bothered about one girl's gym preferences).

So, I'm trying to ration my sugar in the tea that I have at work. Though, tell you what, I cannot compromise on certain things and so the tea that I make at home still gets 2 spoons of sugar. I'm quite non-flexible that way. Bring on the cardio! Or cut down on dinner!



One more thing that needs mention when talking about my tea is the ridiculously and annoyingly low temperatures at which i enjoy my tea. I begin to test the temperature of my cup only after others (if any) have finished their cups. It's a good benchmark. Then also, if I feel that my tea needs more cooling time, I wait some more. It annoys my tea time friends (again, if any). But, I just can't help it. If the tea is too hot, it just burns and numbs your taste buds and you just cannot taste it. Also, it has the added advantage of prolonging my oh-so-good tea time. :)

I need to end the post here. It's time for my chai :P.

biceps schmiceps

This month marks one-year anniversary of me joining my gym. That deserves a post, no?

Me sticking long enough with anything to celebrate a one-year anniversary deserves a post. (I don't blame me, it's the zodiac that says I'm a fickle Geminian)

Coming back to the topic, I have been hitting the gym regularly, 4-5 times a week, for one year now. whoa! Leave out the two months I was yellow with jaundice and the small vacations I took here and there.

Still, I never thought I could manage to follow the schedule for more than a couple of weeks. Infact, my realization of my short attention span to almost everything made me take only a 3-month membership. And, mind you, even now my renewal is for 3-months only. Because I trust myself to get bored and give it up. I spend almost twice the money but what the heck, I'm known to take up hobbies (with all my heart and effort) and give up on them in weeks or even days.

Too bad, I don't have any before and after pics :P. In fact, I do not have any pics of the gym. Going to the gym with my camera and clicking pics would attract a lot of attention and I do not want that. I like to think that I have a serious work-outer image in the gym and I'd like to keep that image (even if only I think that way!).

Then there is my trainer, Chethan, who wants me to become a body builder and develop some serious abs and lift some serious weights. He has the sweetest smile and keeps me in on any offers going on at the gym. Both these qualities help.

Going to the gym is one hour well spent. Take my word. I have, at times, so very reluctantly dragged myself to the gym, only to feel so damn great at the end of that one hour. Getting myself to the gym is sometimes not my favorite part, but after getting there, it is definitely the highlight of my day.

Do you notice the incredible number of monkeys on the middle tree? It looks like a monkey tree.

All the pics are from my trip last year to kabini. One of the most beautiful places I've seen. It's one anniversary of the trip as well. Other than that, there is no link between the pics and the post :P.

I'll end with the caveat that I'm quite confident that there won't be any 2-year gym anniversary. But, what the hell, atleast I completed one year.