The old and the never tried

When I was back in my home state feeding on the homey and the rooted vibes, I happened to do something that I've never done before.

I danced to a band. Like, a proper shaadi band, In the middle of the road. In front of the entire village and my extended family. Without drinking. I was shocked myself that I could do it. Once I started, I couldn't stop.

Towards the end of all the dancing and celebrating , I witnessed something and the first thought that came to my mind was 'Please tell me this didn't happen'.

It was dark and bitterly cold, we were dancing on the side of the road. Occasionally, some vehicle would pass by. By this time, I am tired and frozen till my bones and I'm standing on the side. I see this Qualis that approaches our group, slows down but suddenly veers towards the dancing group and rams into them. I see four people flying in front of the car. I am 100% sure the car has mowed down these people. And I can only think: This didn't happen, please make it 'not happen'. Then, I see this car speeding away and some guys from our group chase the guy, climb on the speeding car, open his door and try to pull the guy out. But, he gets away.

The only saving grace was that the car didn't actually mow down anyone. It did hit those people and they were sent flying but he was careful not to run the car over them. He very carefully steered the car away and sped. My aunt had a fracture and she was the biggest casualty of this mishap. She was our official chai-maker and we lamented her future absence from the kitchen. Chai is very essential at 3 degrees celsius, isn't it?

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A change of topic now and my favorite pics/moments/people from this trip:

1. The most beautiful girl EVER. She is related to me somehow. For the first half a day, she was so shy, she couldn't look up when she spoke.




2. Kaliya aka Satyajeet. My little cousin. (I say little but dude has grown.) Reminded me of someone and I couldn't stop smiling. He drove us and the groom to the wedding ceremony and back. The drive was so much fun and his one-liners had us in splits all the way. And he dances like a dream. He is good.





3. Shiela aka Arun. When my aunt got injured and fell on the road, he lifted her in his two arms and walked to the hospital. It was only three minutes away but my aunt is no zero size model. Just saying.




4. Kaliya trying to hand down some moves. To the music of the safari (mentioned below).




5. Me dancing to the band. I'm wearing two layers of leggings, two pairs of socks and sports shoes under the sari. It was around 3 degrees and the wedding would go on till wee hours.




6. The food. The makkhan. The lassi or like we call, the chhaay. The rotis. The bliss.




7. The visit to my nani's old house. It's in ruins now, abandoned. I don't know if I can call them fond but I have so many memories of this house. For me, village meant this house. I have very few memories of my dad's village or my dadi's house because basically I spent very little time there. One of those memories is when I went back and saw my mami's elder daughter carrying the cutest little baby who I thought was a girl. It turned out that the baby was a boy and that is my first memory of Kaliya. I can still picture what he was wearing.




8. My mom's school where she studied as a young girl. This statue is of the swamiji who started girls' education in the village. He was very strict and my mom was so scared of him. She would not paani-puri when she was 40 years old because when she was in school, swamiji used to forbid it saying that it is made with gutter water. The terror!




9. This plaque. It has my mum's name on it.




10. Our adventures on the safari. it has a kick ass music system that we made full use of. For dancing everywhere.




11. And the cherry on the cake, our adventures with this little friend. Enough said. It is licensed and totally legal. Just saying. I can use it for self defense. Again, just saying.




12. Little boys named 'filmy'. He wouldn't get pictures taken with us. He insisted on solos.



13. My pretty cousins.



14. The beautiful buffaloes near the pretty pond near the pretty temple. A post on my village is incomplete without a bow down to these gentle creatures who are the source of all that makkhan in the pic above.



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I had a dream

I am a dream person. I like to dream - not the waking and day dreaming type, the real sleeping and dreaming type. I like to dream, to recall the dream and to analyze the dream. The confused and fickle person that I am, I look for pointers in my dreams to sometimes know what I'm truly feeling. Does that sound weird? I almost never get my answer. Almost. Sometimes I do.

There are two recurring themes in my dreams. In one I am always stranded on a very narrow wall or stairs or something which is very very high. On top of that I am trying to navigate on these very very high stairs or wall or whatever. Most of the times, I even have to climb from one wall to the next and distance between them is huge and mind you, I am far above the ground. Or I am on unimaginably an high staircase and some of the steps are missing and I have to take the jump. Similar lines, wall, rock, stairs, terraces, lifts, you get the drift. A few years ago, I used to get this dream every single night. Every. Situations changed. Now, it's less frequent. Once in a while. Only when I'm really worried about something.

My mom (right), my sis (middle, duh)

The other recurring theme involves my nani. Infact, all women from my mom's side and my nani's home. I find it difficult to believe that all these women are there in almost all dreams of mine (except the stuck at heights ones). I could be dreaming about anything, anything at all, and there they would be in the background. They are always there as some extraneous characters. And many of my dreams had my nani's home as the setting. All this is more surprising because I hadn't met my nani or even gone to her place in almost 10 years. Yet there they all would be in my dreams.


mommy again

I hadn't thought much of these nani dreams till recently. Till I went back to Haryana where she lives. Till I met all my cousins and aunts and uncles and my nani. Till I smelt the soil, felt the air on my face, the cold on my skin. Till I ate their food once again. Till I spoke their dialect, my dialect. It didn't take me long to realize that I may travel far from my roots but my roots are never far from me. They are within me and I carry them with me.




For past many years, I tried to fight this urge, this dream. I tried to fight every feeling that told me that I am attached, that I have to go back. Why was I trying to do this is another story in itself but let's assume that I had my own very valid and rational reasons. But then one of my close cousins was getting married and I had gone on for 10 years with bitterness, skepticism and fear in my heart. Something inside me let go. Almost instantly, as if being directed by someone else, I didn't think, I didn't fear anymore. I summoned my sisters and just like that I was on a flight to Delhi. To say that 'planets aligned' would not be an exaggeration.




And boy, did the planets align? The five days that I was in Haryana were the most awesome days I have had in a long long time. And I have had some very good days in the past two years and so I'm talking like really really awesome days.




There's this thing about family. I didn't meet these people for the last 10 years, didn't even speak to them. Some cousins who were half my height when I last saw them have grown into handsome young men taller than me. But when I met them, time dissolved, distances dissolved. It was like we were always in touch, never apart.

What was done with a lot of 'what ifs' turned out be an extremely good thing for me and my heart. I no longer feel the void. I feel connected, rooted again.

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The black and white pics are from my nani's collection. How it warmed my heart to see these again.

god's own country

I spent my saturday here:



But more on this later. Have to get earlier things out of way first.

The gift of long weekend, one week back, was very well received and very well utilized. When I was a young and dreamy girl, I saw an ad in the paper which showed a young couple in the rains under a canopy of lush green trees. The ad was for Kerala in the monsoons and my young heart melted looking at the picture and I have wanted to go to kerala since that day. If it's in the rains, better!

And I got it baby! More than 10 years later but I did make it happen. Yeah, I rock like that.

And just like that it was another awesome adventure. Adventure I call it because it was. Most of the drive was through forests; we even stayed in a foresty area though there were some houses nearby but it was in the midst of a forest; none of the doors in our house had latches!! What?? Yup! Midway through the first night, I thought someone would come in and slit my throat (I do blame a certain guy who put this idea in my head just as I was about to slip under my blanket).



It was officially accepted by my friends that lack of sunshine drives me nuts. So much so that it's not even funny. What happened was that the first day we landed there it was raining continuously and the sunshine person that I am, I was majorly depressed. I even suggested that we go back after all that driving we had done to reach the place. Nuts I know. Good sense prevailed my friends who put their foot down and that proved to be a good thing because sun smiled for us for the rest of our trip. Smiled less, burnt is more like it. And I loved every bit of the warmth on my skin which pissed off my friends further because it was HOT. I think they might have cursed all the sun drama that I do.

But I welcomed the sun and drank in every bit of its warmth. and my friends concluded that lack of sun causes serious harm to people around me.



As usual, we enjoyed lazy mornings of refilled tea glasses.



And evenings of friends huddled together and sharing and cribbing and laughing.



We went to a 5000 years old temple. Yes I went to a temple. I do that sometimes. Mostly because it was a pretty walk through a forest and the temple was 5000 years old. And I'm only 97% atheist. I even prayed.



It helps if the temple has a run down moss covered smaller ignored building that no one would come to.



We met the coolest old man with a pretty young wife who also happens to be the world's best cook. She made the most awesome fish curry and her chicken curry was to die for. Serious.



And I call him coolest because he drove his jeep over the most treacherous mud path right on the edge of a cliff. With all the ease and composure of a pro.



We met some of our jungle friends on our way. It was quite poetic the way deers galloped right in front of our car as we drove through the forest.



The icing on this trip was bluff. Yeah baby. My first real card game. I couldn't get enough of it, I'm dying for an encore. If you didn't know, I suck at cards. You should see me shuffling.



Another discovery was 'puttu', typical kerala breakfast, and that it makes me wanna throw up. yeckkkksssss!! You know what calls for another yeckkksss?? - leeches who tried to be our friends on our random walks through random forests. What were we expecting in a dense swampy forests after heavy rains, anyways?

The kerala ad in the paper years back had no mention of leeches or puttu (I wonder why). But it did show a good time and good time I had!

The adventure of dancing men

As I mentioned in my last post, I celebrated my birthday a while back, well, almost a month back, in Ooty. It was a last minute plan, like all other plans. I got my friends together, looked for a place, made a booking, got into the car and left.

The drive to ooty is a little longish and winding. Mostly because I don't want to risk taking my car up the 36 hairpin bends, so I take the longer but less steep route. On the other hand, the drive is a treat in itself as we have to drive through some amazing forests and if we are lucky, we can see wild animals up close and personal, like this guy:




It was three days of relaxing, having a good time with friends, of putting my feet up, of sleeping under the sun in the afternoon in a public garden, and just doing what I felt like. It was three days of (re-)discovering that I have great friends who love me and care for me. It was three days of going where your feet may take you. Nobody cared about watches or schedules.

Not to forget, it was three days of very chilly weather. Now the thing is that I went to ooty last year April and somewhere in my mind, I concluded that "ooty is not chilly this time of the year. It gets nippy in the evenings but otherwise it's fine". Turns out, not fine, extremely chilly. Note to myself: weather changes in two months. Not to mention, multiple layers of clothing followed.

There was lots of tea. Cue: cold weather, good times with friends.




There were conversations around warm fireplaces.



There were layers and layers of clothes and a beautiful property that made this stay all the more amazing.



Like I said, there were lots of moments that we stopped to savor only that moment. How many times have you passed by a field of sunflowers on a highway and said to yourself that "one day, I'll stop to admire them and take their beauty in".




I completely spoilt myself and indulged my sweet tooth way too much. (I ordered and finished both desserts on the right in one sitting)



I was gifted two gorgeous lenses for my camera and this trip was when I unleashed the babies. I came back with close to 800 pics in my canon DSLR and more than 200 pics in my sony. So we did take a lot of pics. I like to say we were perfecting our art.







Now to explain the title of this post. We stayed at this quaint and most awesome heritage property Sherlock. These guys have styled each room after a novel of Sherlock Holmes and the room that I stayed in was called 'Dancing Men' and needless to say, the theme was 'the adventure of dancing men'.

Since I've mentioned my last trip to ooty, I can't end this post without digging out memories from that trip - a trip that was in a very different zone compared to this one but is very special nonetheless.

medical tourism!

I was on a vacation...a looong vacation...a long unexpected unplanned vacation.

First it was my birthday and I and my friends went to ooty. I thought that was the end of my vacation and I started making plans for my next mumbai trip. But no, that wasn't how it was gonna happen. I started seeing this black cloudy shape right in the centre of field of vision of my right eye. Scary right? I ignored it for a couple of days thinking it'll go away just how it came. But when it stayed for 3 days, I went to see a doc.

That was the start of my extended vacation. The docs here ran tests after tests after tests including an MRI. At the end of a lot of money and two complete days of waiting for the doc and doing all the tests, I was sent home with "come on thursday or take a second opinion if you like". Not very re-assuring, I must say.

So, I did what every home sick puppy does. I took this as the cue and flew to mumbai and saw a doc at lilavati. Long story short, I was in the hospital for five days and outside for some more which totalled to 2 weeks in mumbai. I can't remember the last time I was there for this long. It felt nice.

Also, I learnt something. I may be a little claustrophobic. I thought I was going to suffocate and die inside the MRI machine. I haven't been this scared for as long as I can remember. I thought they would never take me out and my heart was beating so hard, I swear I could feel it move.



Moving to life outside the MRI machine, what is the one thing that you have to have to have in case you are stuck inside a hospital. Let's see, you have tons of time on your hands, you are mostly immobile because of your IV line and you can watch only so many re-runs. Ofcourse, you need a good book. A good book can make hospital time seem worthwhile. And I was lucky that way. I had this book in mind that I wanted to read for a long time but I was waiting to finish my other books.

In the hospital, after a lot of grovelling and begging, I finally made abs bring "The Emperor of all Maladies" for me. And it quickly became one of the best books I've ever read. There's a lot of biology, history and genetics and there is hell of a lot of information but the close to 500 pages kept me glued. As you read, cancer becomes a character, like someone you wouldn't want to know.

Till I finished the book, I was only thinking about cancer. I still do. But it was really bad when I was reading it. Three days in a row I dreamt about cancer wards or that I had leukemia or I was getting chemotherapy. That's how riveting the book is. When I was not reading the book, I was thinking about the book. I was a tad disappointed because I believed that we had made a lot of headway in our cure for this "distorted version of our normal selves". Turns out, not so much. There is only so much science can do when your own body turns against you.

And on the last note: The time I was in the hospital and was reading the cancer book, I really felt I should have studied to become a doctor. Like, seriously. It's a good thing I can't get stuck in some other places such as the parliament or a plane or a spaceship or another planet! Ha! That would be fun.

biceps schmiceps

This month marks one-year anniversary of me joining my gym. That deserves a post, no?

Me sticking long enough with anything to celebrate a one-year anniversary deserves a post. (I don't blame me, it's the zodiac that says I'm a fickle Geminian)

Coming back to the topic, I have been hitting the gym regularly, 4-5 times a week, for one year now. whoa! Leave out the two months I was yellow with jaundice and the small vacations I took here and there.

Still, I never thought I could manage to follow the schedule for more than a couple of weeks. Infact, my realization of my short attention span to almost everything made me take only a 3-month membership. And, mind you, even now my renewal is for 3-months only. Because I trust myself to get bored and give it up. I spend almost twice the money but what the heck, I'm known to take up hobbies (with all my heart and effort) and give up on them in weeks or even days.

Too bad, I don't have any before and after pics :P. In fact, I do not have any pics of the gym. Going to the gym with my camera and clicking pics would attract a lot of attention and I do not want that. I like to think that I have a serious work-outer image in the gym and I'd like to keep that image (even if only I think that way!).

Then there is my trainer, Chethan, who wants me to become a body builder and develop some serious abs and lift some serious weights. He has the sweetest smile and keeps me in on any offers going on at the gym. Both these qualities help.

Going to the gym is one hour well spent. Take my word. I have, at times, so very reluctantly dragged myself to the gym, only to feel so damn great at the end of that one hour. Getting myself to the gym is sometimes not my favorite part, but after getting there, it is definitely the highlight of my day.

Do you notice the incredible number of monkeys on the middle tree? It looks like a monkey tree.

All the pics are from my trip last year to kabini. One of the most beautiful places I've seen. It's one anniversary of the trip as well. Other than that, there is no link between the pics and the post :P.

I'll end with the caveat that I'm quite confident that there won't be any 2-year gym anniversary. But, what the hell, atleast I completed one year.

feels like home

I am back from my not first, not second, not third, wait for it, fifth trip to auroville. Needless to say, I am in love with the place. When I say love, I mean loooove. If there is something like karmic connection or any such jazz, I would definitely have one with this place.

The first time I went to Auroville, I was looking for answers. I was going through a bad patch and I was in the why-me mode. My first memory of Auroville is sitting in the lawn of the crowded visitor centre and crying. I couldn't care less if anyone was looking.

I stayed at the most beautiful guest house Sharnga. The place is pure bliss. Everyday I woke up to the chirps of birds and the calls of peacocks.



Like I said, I was looking for answers at that point and answers I did get. I met Peter at Sharnga, a Canadian professor. We met casually over dinner at the guest house and I latched on to him like a leech.

I still carry our conversations as lessons which have touched so many areas of my life. Infact, I live by some of the rules I learnt from him an one of my trips to Auroville was only to meet him again.

He suggested me to read 'The Power of Now' and I loved the book. For one, the book describes how every negative thought is the creation of your mind and you can stop a free fall into negativity by controlling your mind and stopping it at the first negative thought.

I can't explain it well. You have to read the book. The main point is that you should be the master of your mind, not the other way around.

My fifth trip was a lot of fun (like all the earlier ones). I drove with a cool bunch of friends. The road trip is so much fun.

This time I was supposed to meet Ulrik, my bus friend from Norway. Long story short, I met him while going to the airport on the bus. And again while coming back from the airport. And just like that, we became friends. Fun fact about Ulrik: He does not know who Demo Moore is but he knows who Shilpa Shetty is beacuse he has seen hey yoga DVD :P.



We had hours of discussions on cultures, religions, constellations, history, yada yada



And we ended with stealing mangoes from an orchard. Hehe. It was so amazing: locating a mango orchard in pitch dark in the middle of nowhere along the highway, stopping and searching for a way to get in, taking the mangoes and finally, enjoying them by the side of the highway.

Talk about ending on a high note! Fun fun fun!

The tito's curse

2010 wasn't a great year. Infact, it was disastrous. Horrible things happened - both personal as well as professional. I even fell sick for a month! But then as they say, every adversity teaches us something and we have the choice of learning from it and growing. Not every, I would say but most of them do.

Enough gyan done.

They also say that all's well that ends well. And if we go by this then what a year 2010 was. OMG. The end of 2010 marked the end of the tito's curse. What is the tito's curse, you ask? Well, everyone around me, everyone you know and their sister and brother have been to tito's and mambo's at baga in goa. Except, humble mortal, me.

So, towards the end of 2010, I vowed to end the year on a high note and I set the wheels turning. Afterall, you have to make things happen for yourself, right? After weeks of meticulous planning and plotting and convincing and negotiating and a bit of serendipity, lo and behold, I was in goa with some awesome people. It was slow and ordinary till after dinner on the first day when I stepped into tito's. And then I partied. And how. For the next 4 days, it was a dusk to dawn affair in tito's lane. I slept only after seeing the morning light everyday.

Not to mention that it took me days to recuperate after all this madness but what the hell, it was totally worth it.

Going to goa, staying right on the beach, drinking tea (yes, not beer) all day long and partying all night with the most awesome friends. If I had a bucket list, this would have been on it and I would have ticked it right off at the end of 2010.

short sojourn

I went to ISB some time back. I have been there more often than I would have ideally liked to. This happened to be my second of those trips. I had my new camera and loads of time to kill. So I took pictures.

This is the place. That's ISB - Indian School of Business. I've been wanting to study here for a while now.



Thats my humble luggage.



And they had this buffalo statue right in the main lawn. I was touched to see the love and respect for the buffalo. I thought I was the only one. A proud moment in a Haryanavi's life! The buffalo is truly so under-rated.



They have these huge fans in the main atrium, it's not even funny.



And this is the main atrium.



This too is the main atrium and the steps.



The best part was the empty bottles in the girls' hostel room.