its amazing how you can learn such profound things just by chance, just by conversing with different people. i met this lady the other day. she was into psychology and pschiatry and human behavior and stuff.. quite learned and experienced in her field, a professional. she told me this fact which to her was very routine, one i think she told everyone who came to her, very ordinary and normal. but it explained many things (read human behavior) to me and has to an extent changed the way i look at things and look at myself.
she explained that people in general can be categorized into 3 categories viz
category A: these people hold themselves responsible for everything. they take full responsibility for their actions and maybe also for things that are beyond their control. "if i would have done that this would not have happened" , "i should have seen this coming" , "its all my mistake. i didnt take proper care" or "i didnt try hard enough" "i shouldnt have said that" , "i should have said that". this is how they generally react to situations.
they always take a lot of care and time while making decisions. their thought process goes like if i do this, then 'a' will happen, then 'b' will happen, that'll lead to 'c'..i dont want 'c' to happen so lets not do it. something like this. mostly their decisions turn out to be good.
category B: these are the people who always blame the other person. "he didnt do that" , "he did this" , "if he hadnt done this...." , "if she hadnt said this...im not responsible" , "he didnt tell me earlier, its not my fault" and so on.
category C: then we have the category C people who blame everything on fate, God, chance, enviornment. "God wanted it this way, what can i and you do" , "fate didnt want this to happen" and so on.
also, she said, though people follow these categories broadly, sometimes they may stary into a different category. like a category A person can blame fate sometimes but the general trend is that she will blame herself.
her analysis was that Im category A person..(thats why more lines written under that :) )
and since she's told me this, ive started seeing things in a better light. i understand how some people can so easily blame others for something which is so blatantly their own mistake or oversight. i understand that some things for which i held myself responsible for so long might never have been in my control. i understand that as an individual i can only be responsible for what i do, not the reaction to it. thats the other individual's prerogative. in short ive stopped blaming myself and holding myself responsible for every damn thing.
with the gyan over, what category are you?
