"shlitzy"

i have to put this in black and white..it was quite amazing...i have never interacted with a firang in my life...(2-3 sentences exchanged in an elevator or coffee shop dont count) ..so here i was face to face with this firang, german to be precise, and i had to speak...it never hit me till that time that it might be a problem conversing with him since i shuffle between english and hindi almost 3 times in every sentence...and i did that with him also...i was like "those guys pick up the 'saamaan'.." and had to then re-phrase my sentence after seeing the look on his face :).

that said, it was a very interesting conversation....

the best pieces went like this:
me: "I have my car parked in galleria" (this place is 15 minutes walk from my house).
"could you please repeat that". I actually thought he didnt understand my
accent. but the incredulous look on his face is indescribable. so im like "my
car is parked in galleria".
"you walked from your house to galleria, thats walking distance".
yeah i know its walking distance but why would i walk this distance. but the guy
was shocked to hear this...something which was quite normal for me.

he: "if you dont go to office, how do you spend the day?".
"I sleep in the afternoon so that takes care of two hours"
again that same amazed look. "you sleep in the afternoon? you do that when you
are above 40...that time you need an afternoon nap. you should be full of
energy. you should utilize your time"

he: do you have a preferred bollywood star?"
"shahrukh khan" ..without even a moment's thought.
"ohhh...thats surprising" ...full of sarcasm.

me: "you should learn hindi...that way it'll be easier for me to communicate with
you"
"thats quite egoist of you...but even i feel i should know hindi"

he: "chalo" and i was like it should be "chalein?" because..'chalein?' is a
question, 'chalo' is an order.
"ohh then i'd always use chalo"...yeah wise guy.

and i picked up a bit of geography too...so to round it up it was quite a different experience...one that actually made me come and jot it down.

and if you are wondering why the blog is so-called...the word is german slang for 'chinkis'...my first german word..ofcourse after achtung!

equations, equations...but its not physics

im writing this post to celebrate somebody else's article...i read the article and was left wondering how correct that person could be...the person in question is Vikarm Bhatt (yup..you heard it...he is that director)..and it was his article in the hindustan times that has me thinking since morning...

the article was about how in a relationship, one person will always love more and the other less..."everyone is someone's fool!!"...he says that the rule of love should be taught in school like all other laws of physics and it goes like..."when two people are in love, one will always love the other person more and the one who loves less will control the relationship"(thats like THE truth of any realtionship...i subscribe to this completely)

yeah ironical but its true...the one who loves more would want the relationship more, so naturally would go all out to make it work. this person would sacrifice more, bear more insults and snubs, get hurt more (and still put up with it), and compromise more. whats bad about this whole situation is that the more you give, the less you get in return, infact the more you are taken for granted.

but what caught my heart were his last 2 paras...how much ever we realize and understand the irony of this law, we can do nothing about it. "It's not in our power to love more or love less. we just love as we know how to."

so the next time you're hurt, the next time you compromise and bend and accomodate the whim of your lover, remember the equation. "Its not the power of our lover over us, its the power of our love that makes us weak."

P.S.: the theoritical part of love is so scientific and easy to understand and handle. then why does everyone mess up the practicals?

just a bout of depression

Ive never been away from home…the last time I went away was for a project…the firm was in Hyderabad and it was only for 20 days…and I must say I enjoyed myself…there was nothing “enjoyable” about the trip…it was pure academic and I had to go the firm all days from 9 to 6. but the place was beautiful…hi-tech city…and there was this secret lake..(though there was nothing secret about it)…

my guest house was 15 mins drive from the office and the food was awesome…especially the breakfast…there was tea as soon as you woke up…(what else do you want in life? Not much as far as im concerned). the drive form the guest house to office was beautiful…complete with rocky hill sides and the secret lake on one side and the hi-tech city on the other…

I hardly got time to see anything or go anywhere…not that I wanted to…im hardly ever interested in seeing the historic monuments and landmarks and so-called “tourist attractions”…I find that quite boring…come on, if you had to get up early in the morning, travel and then go to some crowded place, then you might as well have stayed at your own place. I can never be that driven in life…I would rather stay in my hotel room, have tea and breakfast in bed…maybe go for a walk or drive down to some secluded place to be on my own…or maybe just drive without any destination in mind… that’s a holiday pour moi…

I used to get up, go to office, come back and sleep…that’s it…that was all I managed in those 20 days…yeah and I hate to admit..i also managed 2 movies in one of the multiplexes…nobody expects me to go without movies for 20 days…so that was pretty much what I did…

And to top it all was the bike ride…thru some unknown lanes…with god gulty…how he managed the bike and the 2-day visit is something only he can explain…but he did…and just when I thought this was the last ill see of him before he went to the US, he came to the station to see me off…the guy didn’t know anything about my reservations…just guessed my train…what station I will take the train from…went to some wrong station…didn’t see me…came to my station and met me minutes before the train left…quite filmi I should say…but then these are the moments that stay with you a lifetime, isn’t it?

And after this trip, ive never been even as far as lonavla…my travel log is quite sad, I must say…even the trip to hydi was not a holiday…so to think of it, I cant even recollect the last holiday I went for…(trips to home town not included)…pretty sad,huh? Oh yeah I did go to bangalore, ooty and mysore after my 12th with su and maggi…so I guess that was the last holiday I went for…

This post has turned out to be quite depressing…not what I had in mind when i started...

P.S.: gulty, this was written before i spoke to you...i just posted it now.

did someone say degrees?

Its quite interesting and quite amusing…and strange in its own way. She was the least educated of us, that too in some goddamn village school and today ive realized that all the things that she used to say were right and the whole “educated” world says the same things.

She always would force me to have a heavy breakfast…”your breakfast should be the heaviest meal of the day…never leave home empty stomach..you’ve been hungry for 10 hrs already since your dinner..have something” and mind you the tone was much harsher..

She warned me against dieting in my growing years…”this is the age to gain height..give your body something”

When i was on my own and doing pathetically bad at taking care of myself, she was like…”take care of yourself..when your hair will start greying and falling, when your skin will lose its radiance, then you’ll realize what u’ve lost and then you’ll repent not having taken care of your diet”…my trichologist charged me to tell me that I should eat a balanced meal to stop my hair from falling…duh

When I was horribly thin..(yeah..there was such a time as well)..and wanted to gain weight..(yup you heard me right…I was among the few lucky ones)..her no nonsense advice was..”just eat your normal roti subzi…but eat three proper meals” no bananas, no smoothies, ..i mean nothing wrong with that…but then she knew how enterprising I could be.

and she always repeated at every meal time "eat slowly and you'll end up eaitng less".. she forced me to eat fast coz she wanted me to eat more..

And yeah today…I swear by whatever she said. And it amazes me..that my mom..(oh did I not mention that earlier) never went to college..she barely scraped through her 12th std. from a village school…she was married off when she was in 6th std and started living with my father after her 10th. She had her first kid at 17 and her third (that’s moi) at 23.

But then she had a thirst for knowledge…she wanted to learn…she was enthusiastic about getting to know new things…and she did manage to do a wonderful job…she went to her painting classes with two kids..one of whom hadn’t learnt to walk by then…she could stitch the best dresses and salwar-suits…she was very good at embroidery…she even learnt how to repair transistors (WHY?)…

And being good at something is one thing..she would do all these things in whatever spare time she got from her house hold chores and her 3 pestering kids…I was the worst…you would never see her sit idle…

and she would even make us do all that…I have done everything from stitching to cross-stitch to embroidery to knitting…and just the amount of interest she showed in these things made us do them…she would buy those embroidery books, select a design, buy the threads, the cloth, go 10 times to the market till she found the right shades, get the design printed and then give it to us to finish…believe me, the most difficult part was already over

She would sit with the English news paper every day…that’s where she learnt most of her English from…though she couldn’t converse in the language, she would understand and enjoy English movies with us.

And yes how can I forget…she was a badminton champion…

The only thing she used to hate was cooking…she used to cook very well…I still follow her recipes…and her aloo-parathas were to die for…she used to cook limited stuff but whatever she did, it was great…but that was one task she never enjoyed…now you wont wonder where I got that from…:)

And to end it all..there was one thing which she also always used to say….which I cant resist mentioning.."tere upar har kapda achhha lagta hai”…no prizes for guessing for whom she used to say this..:)

Godgiri by a God..who else?

My tribute to the one person who has proven time and again to be God sent.

• Astalavista babie…the best mail anyone has ever written to me..and im sure one of the best anyone has ever written to someone. I still go back to it whenever im low…works like magic..the best words ever for me…in black and white. (what else do you want?..its feelings with written proof)
• “kabhi bhi kisi cheez ki zaroorat ho..always remember you have a friend..god gulty”…yeah show off..thanks.
• “you should never marry for sex…you should have sex with random people until you get tired and fed up of the act (??????) and then marry a girl you love”…I have some serious doubts on his theory but what the hell..he’s god gulty..i don’t want to contest.
• “im in an ocean but not a drop to drink”…his take on the incredible number of attractive and err..good girls in the US and his inability to make use of this opportunity due to lack of time..he was doing his MS…actually that’s why he went to the US..that he lost track of what his purpose in going there was is another matter altogether…but never mind...nobody’s complaining..the girls there are just too happy.
• “my dad’s the don of warangal”
• “my bro is the don of warangal”
• “if you ever come to warangal…just tell anyone you want to meet ravanna’s son…they’ll see you to my home”
• “you are the only girl who has managed to defeat me”…in cows and bulls that is…and he sucked…so it was pretty easy for me...his IIT ego couldnt take it.
• “I cant mail you…im too busy…main Christi aur anna ko rasmalai khila raha hoon” ?????...dude are they interested?
• “woh saale ko rao ke under BTP karana chahiye”…on the hero of ‘socha na tha’ who is confused beyond hope about who he loves…totally understandable..god gulty cant seem to patao one girl in his 23 years on planet earth when that fellow is having a hard time deciding between girls…deciding between girls???…that kind of choice???…you want an IITian to see that and not sulk?...(btw…Prof. Rao was our guide and BTP is B.Tech Project….for the uninitiated)
• “my dads got a new job in the telecom department”…on my interminable silences on phone with him…(he calls up from the US)
• “I wanted to tell you something…my dad just lost his job in the telecom department…so speak fast!!!”
• “bimbo…im not happy coz I just returned from New York…im happy because im speaking to you…infact im the happiest when I speak to you”…yeah the second part was an overkill but the first part…the best line I had heard in a very very long time.

May I say my thanks now?

bijli jaisa roop with not-so-electrifying verbal score!!!

Suzie took his GRE a couple of days back and got a dismal verbal score..and now he is quite worked up about it.. no, don’t write the guy off just as yet..he cracked the quant and got a 100 percent in that..(yeah but then doesn’t everybody?..:) sorry suzie..yeah guys im not writing this to make him more miserable..) yeah so being the friend that I am, this is what im going to do…tell you guys about the one field in which suzie can never get a low score..the “looks” department.

Hmm..so lets see..what do I know about this..i know just two aspects..how much he himself is obsessed with his own face and how popular he is with the guys..yeah really..the guy sells like hotcakes among the boys..and this is not something im saying off the cuff..i have all sorts of proof – documents, scraps, mails and suzie himself will vouch for this. (read his testimonials if you like!!)

You should see the snaps this guy has of himself…close ups and all..all sorts of pictures at all sorts of places. He clicks these pictures coz he wants to remember a new place or structure or scene..but if you ask me..i can bet, never once does he see the background…he cant look beyond his own face in the foreground..

And he spends hours in front of the mirror…go ask his roomies over the years…but the recent ones would give a more accurate account coz the narcissism has worsened in recent times.

And where should I start about his popularity among the guys..they love him…i only know as far back as his last year in IITB..so that’s only how much I can tell...but even that’s quite something.. you should know all the names his wing junta used to call him…I don’t take responsibility if you find the following words objectionable and not fit enough to appear on this blog (being the good girl that I am..thanks)..rani, jawani, bijli sa roop, chandel ki lugaai (chandel was his roomie I guess..but im not allowed to elaborate on this..chandel has already threatened me once..:(..im feeling very bad for my inability to share this information with you..;))..and so on and so forth…and boy did they love his legs…(please refer his valfi profile for more details…I am bound by basic decency and morals here)

And it didn’t stop at IITB..there it could be understood as the guys don’t have much choice and so its maaf…but the guy was a sell-out with all the chinkis at Samsung…they used to love his face, his color, his hair…he didn’t tell me beyond that…thanks suzie…

So dude dont fret…whats a score?..you are blessed with your face..:)

And im sorry suzie…don’t kill me for this…its just the truth that ive put up for the world..so that everyone knows about your bijli jaisa roop..:)

P.S.: the joke goes like with this verbal score, a blog for suzie should be in hindi..he he he..

im not this mean generally...today happens to be a special day!!

my comapnion of past 2 months is leaving me :(

so now im almost at the end of "Shantaram"..the 900th page to be precise.. and let me tell you it took me real long to get there..and let me also tell you that close to the end of the book, im in love with it and i consider that the looong time i spent on it was worth it.

really, it was quite a task just going from one page to the next, when i first started reading the book. i was like what's this guy doing, going from here to there, giving some details, narrating some unrelated incidents..what the hell is the book about? but then i stuck on...i was like if su liked it so much (she recommended the book) and my sis liked it so much (she gave the book to me and wants it back coz she wants to read it again!!..its a massive 936 pages..reading again?)..yeah..so i was saying, if they liked it so much, then there has to be something about the book. and i threw in my anchor and decided to go from one page to the next till i reach the 936th.

i cribbed to everyone and anyone who would listen about how difficult it is for me to read the book coz i cant see a direction to the story and how its not gripping enough and how some gross details are putting me off and i cant find myself going back to the book.

but then i had help..su was my inspiration..she has even made it a point to visit cafe mondegar and leopold's just because they are mentiond in this book. she always wondered how can i not like not reading about my own city and knowing the hidden truth behind this secure and glitzy face that we know as mumbai. she was like, "how can you not find it interesting?" "you didnt like the part about how he meets these people and falls in love with mumbai?" and i was like.."am i missing something?"

su even gave me an assignment..she was like could you keep a bookmark in your book in the form of a page on which you keep writing down all those one-liners. basically those coming from karla. (that girl seems to have a one-liner on everything). and she and even reggie took pity on my poor state and pace with the book and were like..."okay, if you hate the book so much and have to still read it..you can skip his afghanistan trip..that would give you a fair amount of jump".

so i trudged on and reached the 400th miserable page..and then the book got to me..i couldnt read enough of it..i realized that its not a story..its the life of a man..i started identifying with lin..i felt for him..his description of the jail was what made me empathetic towards him and i started seeing him as an individual rather than as a story. and then it was easy..seeing things from his view point was easy..feeling what he felt was easy..loving things he loved was easy..reading about him was all i wanted to do.

and, i have to admit that one man, who stands above all for me, is Abdullah Taheri..man, that guy is something (for lack of words)..im so in love with him.. i have to say that i have a very bad visualization..i cant say how ill look in a particular dress till i see myself in it..but i can see this guy..he is in my head..i can see him appearing out of nowhere to fight the pack of street dogs in the dead of the night (who can not like this guy?)..i can see him dressed in all black, long hair, iranian looks, guns in both hands, standing in the centre of a market, shooting at cops, when he's dying. i must say, i was quite devastated after that...but i was more ecstatic when he came back..short hair, dressed in white this time around.

so, now finally at the end of this book, that i was struggling to complete at one point of time, i am sad..im sad that no longer would i be a part of lin's life...no longer would i spend time with these guys..no longer would i know the subtle emotions of lin's heart, the thoughts going on in his mind, the way he saw these people, what he felt about people and situations, how he intepreted other people's facial expressions, their smiles and their eyes, his pain and his happiness...and his friend Abdullah Taheri. sigh...